


I Chose A False Solution, But Nobody Proved Me Wrong

by revenblue



Series: [collection] A Pun Is Its Own Reword [14]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Dick Jokes, Drabble, Gen, Masculinity, POV Third Person Omniscient, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 10:39:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19766491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revenblue/pseuds/revenblue
Summary: How do you define manhood? In the case of Heinz Doofenshmirtz, the answer wasself-destructively.





	I Chose A False Solution, But Nobody Proved Me Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> I was rereading Discworld (specifically Lords And Ladies('s footnotes)) and got inspired.

Manhood means many things to many people, across many cultures, most of which eventually find their way into the mind of one Heinz Doofenshmirz, who, in his opinion, fails to meet all of them.

A rite of passage in the small village of Gimmelshtump, a dive into the local Public Wetness Maker. Forced onto it too young, he'd frozen up.

Athletic ability, most notably in the sport of kickball.

Beards, despite the clean-shaven.

Deep voices, contrary to countertenors.

The euphemistic _manhood_ , linguistically tied but no more required than anything else on this list. To assume otherwise would be a phallusy.

**Author's Note:**

> In case it's not clear, Heinz's idea of masculinity is super warped and super "setting himself up to fail" and shouldn't be taken as anywhere near endorsement of such ideas. Masculinity is what you make it.
> 
> Title from [Nobody Can Save Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY9v147BZuE) by Linkin Park, which if you squint you could extrapolate into a larger relationship with masculinity and discovering your own meaning for it.
> 
> I have a lot of Thoughts about Heinz and masculinity, and at least one other wip exploring such (assuming I get around to finishing and editing and posting that any time soon). There's a lot of room _to_ explore.


End file.
